Day 54 of 100.
100 Days of Human Connection.
1 piece of content, every day, for 100 days.
Some lovely visits with two groups of women I’ve known and have been getting together with for years.
I saw my ex today, completely unexpectedly, and had no words. None.
Today, one group met in my old neighbourhood. On the way there, I cycled through so many memories. Some good, some bad, some painful.
It was the first and only place I lived after the dissolution of my 2nd marriage, with my dog Lola. Just the two of us.
About a year after I moved there, to the day, I lost my job.
I met the group at the pub, running late.
We visited and at lunch. Many mixed memories. There were some changes to the pub itself too.
When we went to leave, I said I wanted to see the rest of the pub, parts where we weren’t sitting, to see the changes.
I walked in and front and centre, I saw my ex, sitting with a woman.
I turned on my heels and left.
My friends were still outside, I told them, hugged them again, and drove home.
And on my 20-30 min drive, the memories came back again.
I always suspected him of cheating on me. He said it was just me. It wasn’t.
I thought about how much I’ve grown, how content I feel in my life, and my own skin now, and how grateful I am for my relationship, and my life now.
And how much that former version of myself, the woman who hid her pain, pushed it down and pushed on, who drank her emotions away, just needed me to love her.
I embraced that shadowy part of myself that brought me shame, and I hugged the living shit out of her.
Because she survived the best way she could.
And I’m damn effing proud of her!
#imperfectengagement
